Love and Loneliness

The following is part of a chapter from my book, Just Be Love: Messages on the Spiritual and Human Journey. Chapter title seems pertinent to our current time, with the unprecedented event of the Cornavirus. Parts of this chapter have been updated in this blog, to align with the current Cornavirus situation and its effects on social isolation—loneliness.

The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved. —Mother Teresa

There is a contributing factor to many illnesses today, and this factor is one you would likely overlook. It gets little attention, yet it is impacting our lives in very subtle, yet tragic ways. I believe a major contributing factor to illness is loneliness—social isolation. A disconnect with ourselves and each other creates quiet, yet dangerous traits of social divide and discontent. It appears that many people today avoid connecting with themselves, each other and their Source at a deeper level. The consequences are becoming more apparent and critical for not only ourselves but our planet as well.

In my own contemplation, I’ve concluded that the main reason for one’s feelings of loneliness is spiritual disconnect, the loss of faith and belief in a power greater than one’s self. This disconnection manifests itself in the unwillingness and/or distraction to connect with Source and others to co-create, to self-actualize and make the world a better place. This results in seeing the world and life with the perception of fear and separation. I believe spiritual disconnection and loneliness are also the result of being defined by the self-created story we tell ourselves and to others.

Loneliness and Our Well-Being

Spiritual disconnect also creates a lack of awareness and the willingness to explore and ultimately answer these fundamental spiritual questions: Who Am I? — Why am I here? When we feel no relationship with Source, these two questions seem to have little meaning. Without the recognition that we come from love and the infinite Source of the universe, we can neglect a meaningful sense of purpose or direction in life, and the awareness of the spirit within us; which is due to a low self-esteem. The sacredness of the person and their life purpose is unclaimed. There are numerous factors that contribute to a person’s spiritual disconnect and resulting loss of purpose and life direction.

On physical, mental, emotional, social and spiritual levels we are designed to connect with each other. Relating is part of our essence as a human system. Research indicates that loneliness has become a social epidemic. It’s affecting our health and sense of well-being, leaving many to feel alone, deprived and powerless.

Researchers are finding that the stress linked to social isolation and low social support creates a host of damaging reactions within the body and weakens the immune system, making people more susceptible to disease. The loneliness factor creates a potential link to diseases such as depression, cancer and heart disease. Researchers say that being alone and feeling lonely increases your chances of an early death by nearly 30 percent. We know an infant can die from lack of physical and emotional contact. Having a face-to-face social support network is an important coping skill to combat life stressors, as well as providing a feeling of connection and belonging in the world.

Social Distancing — Stay-at-Home

As we are now faced with social distancing and stay-at-home orders. Thank goodness, we have the internet, iPhones and social media. These modern forms of communication are helping us stay connected in safe and effective ways, as we physically need to isolate to contain and control the virus. Imagine what our period of stay-at-home would be like for many of us, especially extroverts without the internet, social media and iPhones?

With social distancing, have you been walking more, with your partner and/or pet? As you walk, have you noticed yourself and other people are saying hi/hello and/or waving hi as we walk by each other? This acknowledgement of the others presence as you walk by each other is a wonderful way of connection and an expression, a way of letting the other person know they are of value and importance in the world… You matter, even if I don’t really know you too well. I see you! Saying hi, smiling waving as we pass each other. This gesture and acknowledgement of the other, has been missing in societies for several decades now. The return of hi and a wave, as simple a gesture as it is, is a major and significant way of connecting and creating a more loving and peace earth.

Driven to Distraction

Before the Cornavirus engulfed the world population. There had been a dynamic happening that contributes to loneliness— the explosion and abundance of technology—the way we connect, communicate and entertain ourselves.

Advances in technology, have in one sense been very helpful, but the more we’re driven to connect through computers and iPhones, we lose a sense of personal understanding, of our need for each other and for real, genuine human connection. These distractions have increasingly created superficial connections with each other and ultimately with the Divine.

Many of us have become obsessed with different media forms. We say we are only going to watch thirty minutes of TV or be on the Internet for fifteen minutes, and the next thing we know, two hours have passed. Research says, the average person today will look at their phone or laptop 150 times a day. This equates to spending four years of our life looking down.

Look Within, Up and Around

The perception and belief of separation is the core wound of humanity. The feelings and belief of not being enough leads to this perception of separation and spiritual disconnection. This also causes us to look down and shut out life around us. When we do so, we also shut out our awareness of and deeper connection with each other and our soul-full selves. We also close off our connection with our Creator. Reality is, we are never truly alone. The connection and communication with the Divine, the ascended masters, angels and our soul is always available.

Loneliness results from the increasing disconnect from our soul, from love, from Mother Earth and the wonders of the universe. To feel safe and secure in society today, especially at night, our cities and towns are lit up by streetlights and neon signs; most building are illuminated. Because of this, we are unable to get a clear view of the stars in the night sky and the moon. With our need for man-made lights, many of us have become oblivious to the mystery and beauty of the universal lights that we ride with on this galactic merry-go-round. We lose the communion and communication with the higher realms of the universe.

In looking up at a star-filled night sky, we can’t help but realize we are not alone. We are part of a great wondrous expansiveness, surrounded by love and grace. Look up and around and know that we are that star and that star is us.

More so now, due social distancing and stay-at-home, people are challenged and struggling with loneliness. Due to the loss of connection with Source, this virus is showing us our created expectations and need for instant gratification. These ego needs lead to a disappointed mind and a closed heart. The experience of the Cornavirus is also showing us how much we don’t love ourselves.

Can You Be Alone and Not Be Lonely?

The opportunity from this virus, is to be more accepting of ourselves and others. To remember the love and goodness we are. To reclaim self-love, and heal within. From this inner healing and self-love, we can love and accept others more freely, and are not so needy of others and life. This virus is helping us learn to freely Love to Love.

Our experience with this Cornavirus, is also offering us the opportunity to Learn to be alone, yet not be lonely.

This time is also an opportunity to look up and around. To notice the blue sky of day, the beauty of the rising sun, the majesty of a sunset, or the wonders of cloud formations. With awareness of the natural environment, we come to appreciate that we are a part of something vast, beautiful and sacred. We are that tree we see in the woods, and that tree is us. I am that individual on the other side of the globe, and he/she is me. We all come from the same creative Source of loving energy.

Looking within ourselves, we discover that loneliness cannot exist when we experience the oneness of ourselves in relation to all that is. This dynamic, this relationship, is always and, in all ways, interconnected and interdependent.

If, while in this physical body, we accept and embrace the deeper connection and eternal relationship with our soul and of all creation that surrounds us, we will naturally connect with our brothers and sisters in more open and loving ways. Our man-made distractions are diversions from the infinite love and connection available to us. These distractions and diversions can cause us to have a sad, lonely heart, and may lead us into states of anxiety and depression.

Closing Thoughts

Our distractions are superficial ways of finding meaning and purpose in our life. We can reduce these negative effects by being in balance. Be aware. Discipline yourself to strike a healthy balance between the use of technology, your interpersonal relationships and work commitments. Integral to maintaining this balance is the commitment to periods of quiet reflection and spiritual retreat, either alone, in groups or both. Look up at your neighbor, your world and the universe. All this offers us a sense of connection.

We are first and foremost spiritual beings. We are here to live by the universal laws and to live more from the heart; to connect with and learn from our feelings and emotions; to love and support ourselves, each other and our planet. We are designed to create soul-full communion and meaning in our lives. Our current times call us to a deeper more accepting connection with our self, our neighbors, our planet and our Creator. This is part of the awakening of the New Humanity and the New Earth.

Life and its experiences invite us to come together in love, acceptance and unity. Loneliness is the result of expectations, judgment, fear and exclusion. Connection is grounded in love, fearlessness, acceptance and inclusion.

May true connection, self-love and peace be yours, David

 

David Schroeder, LMSW, CPC, from Grand Rapids, MI., is a licensed clinical and spiritual social worker, certified life transition coach, and author of Just Be Love: Messages on the Spiritual and Human Journey. His practice, Transition Pathways helps people find healthy pathways to love, greater awareness and higher potential. Visit David’s website: transitionpathways.com David’s book, Just Be Love is available for purchase through the publisher: Global Summit House email: infoglobalsummithouse.com and Amazon.com. If you would like an autograph copy of his book, contact David by email: humor311@sbcglobal.net

True Wealth

As the United States and the rest of the world, currently experiences the effects of the Coronavirus. One major area that is impacted is the world’s economies. I believe part of the reason and message of this virus upon humanity is to wake us up to the higher more divine understanding of money and what True Wealth means.

The Love of Money

Let’s look at James Carville’s famous quote back in 1992, during Bill Clinton’s presidential campaign. “It’s the economy stupid.” This quote is the mindset of many today, as it was in 1992. The quote underscores how much attention and energy of our life is defined by the economy, be it one country or the global economy. The importance of consumer spending, to buy or sell, in order to have. To buy or sell in order to be happy.

I ask: How is this mindset, focus and behavior really working for you? Are you really happy and content? With all your material possessions you currently have and the possessions you feel and/or wish you want. Does it seem like a never-ending thinking and behavior pattern, that only leads you to discontent?

I believe we’ve become oppressed with money, believing we never have enough, or I’ll never get my fair share of it. These ego driven beliefs, of need or lack, have created a moral erosion and spiritual disconnection, individually and collectively.

My reply to Mr. Carville and the world about what really matters is: It’s our spiritual essence, my friends.

A False God Called Consumption

The economy and all we have made of value and importance are not the true keeper of truth. They are not the source of true wealth and abundance.

To examine, the true spiritual masters and way showers over the centuries. They had very little, if any money or material possessions. Yet they gave much to the world, with their gifts and teachings of spiritual truths. Through their discipleship and mastery of spiritual truths they displayed the understandings of true wealth.

Over two thousand years ago, the spiritual master Yeshua/Jesus, walked the earth and offered this teaching: Be in this world, but not of this world. I take this to mean. Yes, a part of our soul energy and essence will live in this world for a speck of time and repeated times. But don’t be too attached or defined by this world. For it’s temporary, and not the dimension of truth. Let us not forget, nor lose connection with the dimensions from which you came and will return to. The formless spiritual realm of many dimensions and unlimited possibilities.

Yeshua in the Gospel of Thomas said: “For him who finds his true self the world of objects is of no worth.” Jesus also said through A Course In Miracles:The world is only in the mind of its maker. Do not believe it is outside of yourself.”

On the human level, however, we do forget, thus we lose connection with our spiritual essence. Our task as souls, while in human form, is to remember what our ego self has forgotten, we are love and there is no need or lack. We have all that we need.

Our natural world through Mother Earth and all other forms of life that live here on Earth, show us how to be (live) in this world. For they know, they are not of this world. That’s why they don’t harm this world, they just flow in and with this world and with the Creator of all.

We Won’t Take It with Us

Reality is, all that our ego attaches too and defines itself by, to look good, feel safe and be comfortable in and with. Will not be needed when we pass on, true? Yet the masses, think, say and live as if… It’s all about money ̶ the economy. How sad, to realize how we have forgotten our spiritual essence and have sold our soul to the love and power of the grand illusion… money and an inflated need for material possessions.

In this current process of earth’s and humanities Ascension. I would not be surprised, if this unrepresented Coronavirus event, is one in a series of both man-made and natural disasters that may occur, especially over the next 2-5 years. These disasters, I believe are intended to shake us up so we will wake up. To more fully remember, thus create greater alignment with spiritual truths and ways of our Creator. To come home to the remembrance of love, peace, connection and truth wealth.

Albert Einstien said it well: “The world we have made, as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far, creates problems we cannot solve at the same level of thinking at which we created them.” Our current economy demands that we consume as a way of life. When the demand for consumption changes, which it suddenly and drastically has, the economy and society goes into a tailspin, panic and potential collapse.

I believe this Conravirus situation is showing the world and especially its leaders and those who thrive on greed and manipulation. How vulnerable we all are. Hence the systems we have created are no longer sustainable. We are being asked to develop more cooperative and equable systems, of governance, healthcare, finance, education, etc. This is part of the wake up call and the opportunity before us.

The Divine Way

I offer three divine, thus more humane ways to create an economy based on loving principals and how the natural world functions.

  1. Use ecological approaches with reverence and compassion for sustaining and empowering life.

  2. Takes only what is needed for sustenance.

  3. Honor the governance of the Divine in the spirit of cooperation and interconnectedness in harmony with the rhythm of nature.

It’s up to all of us to realize and accept that we can no longer operate with the same type of thinking and behaviors that created this problem and its outcome. To imagine and create a world based on love, caring and sharing. Aligning with the web of life, where everyone does their part for sustenance of all. This is the new earth, and what truly creates true wealth.

Much Love & peace, David

David Schroeder, LMSW, CPC from Grand Rapids, MI., is a licensed clinical and spiritual social worker, certified life transition coach, and author of Just Be Love: Messages on the Spiritual and Human Journey. His practice, Transition Pathways helps people find healthy pathways to love, greater awareness and higher potential. Visit David’s website: transitionpathways.com David’s book, Just Be Love is available for purchase through the publisher: Global Summit House email: infoglobalsummithouse.com and Amazon.com. If you would like an autograph copy of his book, contact David by email: humor311@sbcglobal.net

The Strength of Hope in Uncertain Times

In these current uncertain times, hope can be seen and used as a source of strength, a way to stay positive amidst life’s stress and uncertainty.

Hope is an attitude and the willingness to be patient, flexible and steady. It’s found in our willingness to trust our Creator, ourselves and allow for the process of life to unfold. Hope is the courage to face the dark and the unknown, both inside and outside of ourselves. It is the persistence and determination to keep going despite uncertainty. Hope requires that we stay positive and optimistic through the uncertainty and adversity.

Hope thrives from the attitude of gratitude. Gratitude, is the willingness to focus on what’s good and going right in our life.

Our fear and self-doubt will diminish our sense of hope. Causing us to become passive, even stuck in wishful thinking or stinkin thinkin. Which makes us idle in taking positive actions to generate what’s hoped for.

Our Will Leads to the Way

You’ve heard the saying: “Where there’s a will, there is a way.” Hope develops for us to discover the will and seek a way. Think of hope as this formula: Willpower + Way power = Hope. The power and determination of Will, along with the courage and commitment to find a Way, can create a positive and productive result.

Active Waiting

Hope is about the future, so, it requires waiting. Consider a concept I call active waiting. While waiting for my hopes to manifest, I am active in my waiting. I am doing things in the present that I believe will lead to what I desire in the future.

Another noteworthy description of hope is: The push of discomfort and the pull of hope. This means that when we push (step) into, engage in our discomfort (darkness/pain), we acknowledge and accept it. Having the courage to work through the uncertainty and/or pain; trusting in time, from the experience, the pull (energy) of hope and light will be experienced once more.

In these current uncertain times. Keep hope alive, by seeing this current challenge; as the teacher and opportunity, not the threat or the enemy. Accept the reality of what is, while remaining open and to unlimited possibilities. Realize, creation and growth happens from the darkness.

Rainbows occur when dark clouds, the rain and the sun all happen at once. All is needed for the light and beauty of the rainbow to appear. This is the way of the divine. Realize, that light and clarity, always surrounds what appears dark and uncertain. Stay positive and confident that the struggle will pass. The clouds will move on, and the sun will shine again.

Trust that the higher knowing of our Creator has our back, regardless of the outcome. Be curious, open and willing to understand the lesson and opportunity offered from the experience, for our soul and human growth and evolution.

May peace, love, hope & light always be your guide, David

David Schroeder, LMSW, CPC from Grand Rapids, MI., is a licensed clinical and spiritual social worker, certified life transition coach, and author of Just Be Love: Messages on the Spiritual and Human Journey. His practice, Transition Pathways helps people find healthy pathways to love, greater awareness and higher potential. Visit David’s website: transitionpathways.com David’s book, Just Be Love is available for purchase through the publisher: Global Summit House email: infoglobalsummithouse.com and Amazon.com. If you would like an autograph copy of his book, contact David by email: humor311@sbcglobal.net

Coping with Fear and Grief in Uncertain Times

As the coronavirus continues to spread and have greater impact on every area of our life. The fear and anxiety of the virus may begin to turn to heighten uncertainty as to the future of our life as we’ve known it to be. For there are currently many unknowns with this virus. Medical and science expects speculate how long it may last, financial expects speculate the affects on both national and global economies, mental health experts advise on the mental and emotional affects the current and future changes can have on a person’s psyche and behavior.

Many of us struggle with change, especially a change we didn’t see coming, ask for or want. Instead of change, we resist, deny or avoid, or even blame others for the change. Change inherently creates uncertainty, a sense of loss of control, thus fear, anxiety anger, and in time depression.

We all are experiencing this unprecedented change and uncertainty. Our way of life has now changed, our sense of “normal” has changed. We are embarking now on unchartered territory, which often leads to a “new normal.” We are in the space between what has been and what will be. This is the space and place of fear, uncertainty, chaos and anxiety, perhaps even panic, leading to despair. Change equals stress, which often creates uncertainty. This all takes the mind places that often put us more in a state of helplessness & hopelessness.

Many of us now are experiencing change, grief and loss, and the stages that come with it.

Denial: Perhaps you have noticed in yourself or others, during these past several weeks: Being in this first stage or state of grief. The stage of denial: Hearing others say or you yourself, saying: “It’s not happening to me.”  “This will blow over and will be fine when I wake up tomorrow.” So, I just go about my normal daily routine.

Anger: As life around me doesn’t seem so normal anymore and I realize within me, something has changed, but I don’t like it or want it. The next stage or state is to be angry. This is not fair or right, so I get defensive and reactive, for protection and survival. I resist the change and my fear and insecurities begin to show in the form of anger and/or defiance. I don’t want my life to change, but it has, and its your fault and you need to fix this and put things back to the way it was before, for my comfort is now uprooted, my safety and livelihood is threatened… I want My normal back and I want it back now, damn it!

Bargaining: As the days pass into weeks, we begin to realize our normal is now gone. I now turn to the part of me that begins to use the strategy of bargaining; for comfort, safety and sense of normal to return. If I do this, will you please do that. I’ll be good, I’ll change my ways, in this can you please let me go back to work or go on that vacation now, that I had to cancel. We begin to play let’s make a deal, with ourselves, with others and especially, with God, Creator, whatever name you give to that power greater than ourselves. We may even start to bargain with our dog or the walls in our room. Somebody, anybody to get us out of this difficult, disruptive or painful situation.

Depression: As I put all this energy and effort into getting my normal back, by the above three ego strategies and it doesn’t come to be. I begin to feel a sense of defeat and thus depression creeps in. I lose my sense of motivation, the voice and beliefs of our inner critic within us begins to give us messages of what a failure we are, how we deserve to be punished. We hear that loud obnoxious inner voice say things like: “See, I told you we don’t deserve happiness or good things.” “God and/or the world doesn’t love or care about us.” Our motivation and willingness to carry on begins to get depleted, we begin to give in and give up. We eat more or eat less, we just want to sleep it all away or we get very little sleep, because our mind is racing so much with worry and doom and gloom thoughts (what I call “stinking thinking”) that our energy and motivation level is defeated and drained.

Acceptance: Acceptance, like forgiveness, is one of the most difficult traits for us humans to come too. However, like forgiveness, it’s also one of the most powerful and liberating things we can do for ourselves. The first four stages of grief are more dis-empowering for us, because we are forcing life to be our way, rather than what it currently is. Resistance is based on ego, its fear and need for control. Our true power is not gained by force. True and authentic power and serenity, is gained through spiritual surrender, letting go and yielding to the power and wisdom greater than ourselves. What we Accept, and embrace-we Conquer and move forward from. What we resist will Persist.  Acceptance is a sign of spiritual maturity. A sign of inner strength and knowing, trust–true faith, that the universe has our back.

Acceptance doesn’t mean we like or agree with what’s happened, it just means we choose to not let the situation define us or control our lives any more than need be. We choose to let go of “what was” so we can move on in life with “what is.” Expectations, needing things a certain (my) way, will create a disappointed mind and closed heart. Acceptance creates a free mind and open heart.

Acceptance transcends fear and denial, creating emotional and mental calm and inner peace. In addition, it widens one’s perception to see higher more constructive possibilities. Which helps us make healthier, more loving choices. Acceptance begins to transform fear, uncertainty and limits – to love, possibilities and freedom. With acceptance comes tolerance, resilience and confidence, to weather life’s difficulties and uncertainties.

There is an additional stage of grief that has been added to this common grief model.

Meaning: As we experience life in all its joyful and painful forms. We are forming beliefs and ultimately meanings to these experiences. These beliefs and the eventual meaning we put to life, is simply coming from the perspective and feeling of fear, thus pain or love, thus freedom.

It’s been said: Life is not meant to be easy; it’s meant to be meaningful. Acceptance leads us to the higher more loving and compassionate belief and meaning both toward ourselves, others and the experience. As we re-frame the meanings of our unfair or difficult experiences. Moving from the victim or fighter meaning of: “Why me”, “poor me”, “I hate myself” or “how could you do this to me, I hate you.”  To the more loving and empowering meaning and mindset of “Why not me”, “what is this experience teaching me and asking me to do?” This re-framing and new meaning begin to help me see the experience from the higher-wiser, more loving perspective. I begin to realize and see that life experiences from my soul/higher view, are happening for me and through me, nothing really happens to me. Thus, I begin to move through the experience with more love, grace and ease. I see the lesson; the experience was offered to allow me to embrace traits and behaviors based on love. To make a more accepting, compassionate and forgiving choice for myself and/or others.

Our current experience with the coronavirus, is offering all of us, each in our own way, based on our individual and collective soul agreements, the opportunity to move through these stages of grief, with the intent of coming to a place of Acceptance and the higher-wiser, more loving meaning of our selves and how we live on earth. Be gentle with yourself and each other as you/we move through this time of uncertainty, yet tremendous opportunity to transform ourselves to be more loving, accepting and compassionate beings that walk upon the earth in harmony and grace with all that is.

I close with two more of my quotes. The level of uncertainty you can tolerate, will determine the quality of your life. Life like love, is just a word, until you give it a meaning. Be aware of the meaning you are putting to this current life altering experience. A new normal creates a shift individually and/or collectively, i.e. the whole of a society or in this current case a global shift, a shift in behaviors and lifestyle habits and a shift in economics.

Ask yourself, is the meaning and my behaviors (actions/reactions) I put to these current changes, coming from Love or Fear? Acceptance or Resistance? The choice is yours, for this is the planet of free will. One choice will help you move through this time of great change with grace, resilience and growth, the other choice will cause you more struggle and inner pain. We all are making the choice; such is the dynamic of change and human evolution of struggle and progress.

Here’s a Sufi quote which seems to fit for our current times. I’m adding a word to it. “When the heart (ego) weeps for what it has lost, the spirit rejoices for what it has found.” From chaos comes order, this is the nature of life.  Breathe, stay present, connected and be well, David

Living From Love or Fear

There are two main human emotions, love and fear. All other emotions we experienced come from the root of either fear or love.

The Creation of Fear

The emotion of fear is a learned emotion of the ego-mind, designed for protection and survival. Fear is created through the mind-body to protect the body from a perceived physical and/or emotional threat or danger. Our fears are mostly based on our experienced past and perceived future events.

From the divine and our higher self’s perspectives, fear is an illusion that our human self makes very real. So real it often stops us in our tracks, hindering, if not paralyzing our physical and mental ability to move forward through life situations. Fear distorts and erodes our trust and faith, causing us to create limiting beliefs, that hold us back – limits our potential.

A common acronym for fear is:
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

Fear keeps us stuck in what we don’t want, reinforcing our sense of separation and unworthiness. So, we end up feeling, believing and behaving as if we are trapped in problems. Consumed by fear, puts us in victim thinking and energy with the solution to the problem being, to stay focused on the problem.

Coming From Love

Love on the other hand, is of the spirit and our essence. Love embraces life struggles and challenges from a higher-wiser perspective, which offers wisdom for higher learning and growth. Love is not based on a threat, so there is no need for protection. So, we thrive with the emotion and energy of love.

When we bring love to a perceived fearful situation, we turn the fear into a motivator to move us in a positive and productive direction. The key is for us to question and challenge the perception, thoughts and belief that is generating the fearful emotion. Searching for the clues that are creating the fear and asking: What is this fear based upon? Fear is often based on a past experience, that I’m bringing into my present. Or fear can arise when we perceive, thus project and believe an unpleasant outcome will result with a future event.

Recognizing and understanding what our fear is based on and why; is critical toward overcoming its paralyzing objective.

Another acronym and way to look at fear:
Feeling
Excited
And
Ready

Based the two acronyms I offered you on fear, the first one will, limit and drain us, because we are living in the false self and the illusion. This second acronym will offer possibilities and opportunities and will sustain us, because it comes from the higher perspective and brings love to the fear.

Recognizing, understanding and challenging the bases of the fear is an act of love and offers an opportunity to than reconcile, re-frame and transform the fear to love in the present.

In Closing

My quote, echo’s the importance and healthiness of challenging our fear with love and acceptance. For what we accept and embrace we conquer and move forward from.


Are you overwhelmed with fear or worry?  Help is just a phone call or email away. Please contact David Schroeder if you would like assistance with your fears. David offers life transition and spiritual growth counseling and coaching in-person, by phone or Skype. Visit his website at 
transitionpathways.com. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength, a healthy and assertive way to help yourself and move through life transitions.

David Schroeder, LMSW, CPC from Grand Rapids, MI., is a licensed and spiritual social worker, certified life transition coach, and author of Just Be Love: Messages on the Spiritual and Human Journey. His practice, Transition Pathways helps people find healthy pathways to love, greater awareness and higher potential. David’s book, Just Be Love: Messages on the Spiritual and Human Journey is available for purchase through the publisher: Global Summit House email: infoglobalsummithouse.com and Amazon.com. If you would like an autograph copy of his book, contact David by email: humor311@sbcglobal.net

Be a STAR

To be a STAR, one agrees to:
Surrender – your will to divine will – In order to gain/benefit.
Trust – that the universe and your higher self has your back.
Allow – yourself to flow with the universe. Flow like a water.
Receive – When you live the above 3 steps, you receive what’s in your highest and greatest good.
 Have appreciation and gratitude for what’s received, for this allows your STAR to shine brighter and your soul to grow while in human form.  Just Be Love – David

Repeal and Replace

I’m not one to be too political, but lately things are just going over the top. Time to bring a higher level of governance that includes: love, compassion, integrity , inclusion, and the spirit into government and corporate America. We are destroying ourselves (country) from the inside out.

Let’s wake up and take this country back. Here’s some recent reasons why.

So Paul Ryan does a Trump like tweet about a women getting a whopping $1.50 more now in each paycheck.

Ryan believes this should be for her, like winning a powerball jackpot. As this women now makes $60.00 more a year thanks to this new tax bill.

Meanwhile, the Koch brothers or should I say Crooked brothers give Ryan a $500,000.00 donation for getting the tax bill passed.

This tax bill also gives Exxon Mobil millions in taxes cuts, and who was the former CEO of Exxon, none other than our current Sec of State Mr. Rex T., who likely profits big time from the shares of Exxon stock he owns. Wonder if he’s related to T. Rex.

By the way the tax bill was needed relief for the oil companies, as they are experiencing hard times with their quarterly and yearly profits… Not.

Shame on you Paul Ryan, the Republican Party and President Trumpy Dumpy. This does not make American great, only causes more divide and mistrust.

Do you realize the main promoter and deliver of “fake news” is our current president, with over 2000 lies during his first year in office.not mention lies during his campaign, remember he still believes Obama was not born in the USA. Mainly because he’s black and has an unusual name.

The recent release of the Nunes memo was another example of his own fake news and need to create distractions form his own crooked ways.

Its our government and corporations that need an overhaul. This is not love, nor a government of the people, by the people, for the people.

It’s only greed and abuse of power for the benefit of a few. Greed is power without love and wisdom.

Let’s Repeal and Replace the Republican party in March and November.

Maybe Repeal and Replace all parities and start over, creating a government at a higher level than the problem was created.

One that governs from the higher, more divine understanding and principles of love, wisdom, compassion, inclusion, heart and spirit. Just Be Love my friends, David

She Desires Connection & Love – He Desires Freedom & Space

There are several gender differences between men and women. However, there is one gender difference that is often neglected and misunderstood. Which if not understood and addressed; will create misunderstanding and conflict between the couple.

In this blog, I offer you the gender difference and dynamic of love and freedom. In order to have a healthy and thriving relationship, this common dynamic, is critical to understand and work through with your partner.

A Gender Difference Often Overlooked and Misunderstood

Typically, the women desires connection and love in the relationship. And generally, the man is seeking freedom, i.e. to be free of restraints and obligations of the relationship.

Generally, women thrive on a sense of connection with a partner, their children, friends and family. Who they are with is important and valued. The female is the nurturer and takes on a sense of responsibility and accountability to the relationship.

Is it true ladies, that in an intimate relationship, your desire is for deep and trusting love? You want to be able to relax with your partner in giving love and being loved. You want to feel valued and know you are special in his eyes and heart.

With men, they typically relate more to status, especially in their work. Us men, we assume our partner relationship is working, just by the fact that we are in it. However, many men feel overwhelmed and flooded by the obligations and responsibilities that they perceive as demands of relationship, and needing to please his partner. In this, men will desire and need the feeling of space and freedom.

Fair to say men, we struggle with deep and intimate love, it’s confusing, overwhelming and darn right scary?

Generally, its often the man who perceives, thus fears relationship commitment, because he may view it as a loss of his freedom. Men tend to avoid love and true connection in relationship, by way of having a “man cave” being overly involved with work, their toys, sports, or hanging out with the guys.

The need for freedom and space is often a way for him to process his feelings and frustrations of relationship, and his way of trying to figure the relationship out.

The freedom that many men seek, however, is really the fear of love and intimacy, disguised as freedom.

She Comes More from the Emotional and Heart-Centered Side

Women want their thoughts respected, but more importantly, she wants to be listened too, and also have her feelings acknowledged and respected.  This is a way she feels loved, supported and connected.

Men Mainly Need Their Thoughts Respected

Typically, men are not that connected with feelings. Many men look at life and relationships more from the logic side, he wants “to fix” things when you are hurting. Most men, take things literally. That’s why ladies, men often can’t read what you are thinking or feeling, because they are more literal in thinking. So when you say to your man, didn’t you realize what I needed? The answer most often will be “no.”

Out of fear and need for control, many men have learned to close off their heart. They have a difficult time connecting with their partner on emotional and intimate levels. Boys to men learn growing up: “boys don’t cry”, “suck it up”, “be a man.” We are programmed to wall off our feelings; so we lose touch with them and healthy ways to express them. Feelings become something more to fear and avoid than express. Or the expression is more destructive than healthy.

Boys to men, learn through competitive sports, their occupation and perhaps going to war, that there’s no strength in feelings, this will not give you the competitive edge and being too emotional will get you killed on the battle field.

So they learn to fear their feelings, to deny and bury them. They become more safe and free in their logic and thinking mind, not so much their intuitive and heart-centered state. This becomes a sense of freedom to them, yet it’s really a tragic society programming, in which the boy to man loses touch with the deeper self. Which in turn impedes on the ability and willingness to connect more deeply with the female.

So ladies, if you don’t tell him in a basic and literal way what you need or don’t need, they most likely won’t intuitively know what you are thinking or feeling.

Don’t assume your man knows what you are thinking/feeling, for he doesn’t or he doesn’t trust or believe in what his intuition might be telling him. He goes more by the logical and survival thinking parts of his brain.

The Dynamic of Love and Freedom

If the dynamic and dance of the female desire for love and males desire for freedom is not acknowledged, understood and addressed in the relationship, this dynamic often becomes a major cause of relationship problems and conflict. When the man is driven more toward space and freedom and the women is driven toward connection and love, neither has their needs met.

So confusion, misunderstanding, and perhaps resentment will likely surface between you. He is threatened by the intensity of her desire for love and her willingness to offer love. She is threatened by his lack of attention to her and his emotional disconnect with her.

Love and freedom are connected parts of a whole, each requires the other. A lack of love harms freedom; a lack of freedom harms love.

Realize in the desire for love or freedom, neither is right or wrong. Some of it is biological and much of this is learned behaviors, due to society and family programming.

The Key

The key is for men to accept their emotional disconnect, while learning to become comfortable with their own feelings again, and the healthy expression of them. To understand and learn to appreciate the women’s desire for connection and love. To practice, connecting and loving her unconditionally and without fear.

If you spend too much time and energy in the man cave, at the office, or with the guys, she will be unhappy, angry and feel disconnected and unloved. You will in time lose her.

Ladies, the more you hound him, the more confused, scared, angry and avoiding  he will become. He will go deeper into his cave to protect himself.  So just wait at the door and encourage him to connect with you.

Men, your role is to come out of the cave, sooner rather than later. The longer you avoid her and preoccupy yourself, the more she perceives this as: you don’t love or care about her. This will cause her to likely nag you even more. She does this because she cares about you and the relationship.

Men, You Should Worry More When She Doesn’t Nag You

Men, when she stops nagging you or testing you for your love and connection, this may be a sign she’s moving away emotionally and physically from the relationship. Meaning, she’s likely having an affair and/or has decided to end your relationship.

Love Making

The experience of love making, is a classic example of the women’s desire for connection and love. And the man’s desire for freedom which comes through sexual release i.e. release of anxiety through sexual release (ejaculation) equals freedom from life’s anxiety/pressure.

For most women, love making is more about the foreplay, kissing and cuddling before and after intercourse. This is how they get aroused, create connection and experience the giving and receiving of love.

For most men, however, we desire to get right to the act of intercourse, with little time needed for the foreplay. We just want the freedom that comes from the release. After the release we often go fast asleep, leaving her physically and emotionally disconnected, perhaps even feeling used.

In Closing

Seek to explore and understand this relationship dynamic and interplay of love and freedom. Its a natural dynamic, even gay and lesbian couples will have this interplay of love and freedom. As one partner will likely desire more freedom, while the other desires connection and love.

The more you understand and accept this love or freedom need and dynamic, the more likely you will be open and willing to balance these needs between the two of you.

Ladies as nurtures, its important to love and care for yourself as much as you may love and care for others. The greater your self-love, the less dependent you will be for others to love you. As the women is more loving and secure within herself. This offers the man a degree of freedom to be himself, have his need for space.

The man, for his part should recognize the importance and desire for his partner to feel his sense of connection and love to and for her. As the man learns to be comfortable with deeper connection and love, he will begin to feel more comfortable with loving her more openly and freely.

Remember guys, she desires you to apprecaite her and hold her in your thoughts and heart. This will help her feel relaxed and free in loving herself and loving her man.

For love is freedom and freedom is love. 

Your comments are welcomed, and sign up to receive future blogs below.

Would you like to improve your relationship dynamic and interactions? I’m just a phone call or email away.  David Schroeder, LMSW, CPC from Grand Rapids, MI., is a licensed clinical and spiritual social worker, certified life transition coach, and author of Just Be Love: Messages on the Spiritual and Human Journey. His practice, Transition Pathways helps people find healthy pathways to love, greater awareness and higher potential. Visit David’s website: transitionpathways.com David’s book, Just Be Love is available for purchase through the publisher: Global Summit House email: infoglobalsummithouse.com and Amazon.com. If you would like an autograph copy of his book, contact David by email: humor311@sbcglobal.net

Living from the Heart: Understanding Heart Coherence

We live in a world, where the intellect and needing things proven is given high value and praised. This is all well and good, yet it creates a void of heart wisdom. Understanding and placing more value on the power and intelligence of the heart, would assist us in solving problems from a higher level than where they were created, and help create a more peaceful world individually and collectively.

Many people out of protection from the difficult and painful life experiences, wall off their heart for protection from further hurt. To close off the heart is to kink our vital life force energy and vitality. In this, we can become fearful, resistant, angry and closed to love, goodness and abundance. It blocks the higher wisdom and confidence to assist us in life’s journey.

Research over the past 10 years, most notably by the institute of HeartMath heartmath.org, tells us, that the heart is really the brain’s of the human body. Due to the fact that it has its own neurons, as many if not more than the brain in our head. That there is more communication going on from the heart to our head and rest of the body as there is communication going on from our head to heart.

The heart is the most powerful and intelligent organ in the body. Energetically the heart’s electrical field is 60 times greater in amplitude than one’s brain waves.

The heart is also the seat of our true and higher awareness. I like to think of awareness as a step above and beyond consciousness. Because, consciousness needs awareness, but awareness does not need consciousness.

This is true, due to people who have a near death experience or are in a coma state, they are not conscious, yet they are very much aware of what’s happening in and around them. As they often share this when and if they come out of the coma or near death state.

Did You Know?

  • The heart is the first organ formed in the fetus, it starts to beat before the brain is totally form.
  • Using an average of 80 heart beats per minute. The heart beats approx. 4,800 times per hour, That’s over 115,000 heart beats per day and 42 million beats a year.
  • Your heart pumps out 2 ounces of blood with every heartbeat. Adding up to nearly 2,500 gallons of blood daily.
  • Your heartbeats with enough strength to shoot blood a distance of 30 feet.

The Human Energy System

Energetically, the heart is the mediator and divine line of our seven main energy centers. These seven main energy centers in the body are called Chakras.
Our three earthly energy centers (chakras) are below the heart chakra and there are three heavenly energy centers (chakras) above the heart.

The heart can be seen as the anchor to our humanness (earthly lower chakras) and the bridge to our higher and wiser heavenly chakras.

Many spiritual teachers and masters from many spiritual traditions, place much value and attention to the heart.  The book of Proverbs states: “As a he think it in his heart, so is he.” What we think and hold in our hearts has much more power and influence over us, than what’s in our mind; specifically our lower ego mind. 

So What is Heart Coherence?

  • The state of heart, mind and emotions being in energetic alignment and harmony.
  • The state of positive, physical, mental and emotional stability and self-regulation.
  • The state of being in the thoughts of Appreciation, Gratitude, Compassion and Care.

Heart Coherence Meditation

Doing rhythmic and focused breathing, in through your nose and gently out the mouth. As you become relaxed and centered, while staying with the breath, begin to focus your attention on your heart, breathing into your heart, allowing it to open. Now focus on the words and their meanings of: Appreciation, Gratitude, Compassion and Care. This meditation opens the heart, steadies the heart rate; creating a deep relaxed and peaceful mind.

The more you practice this meditation, the easier you can get into heart coherence in daily life, without meditation, just by focusing on rhythmic breathing and going into thoughts of: Appreciation, Gratitude, Compassion and Care.

Benefits of Heart Cohearence

  • Deep relaxation
  • A steady heart rate
  • Feeling of being grounded, centered and connected
  • Allows for clear thinking, improved confidence and positive problem-solving
  • You become more open, free, accepting and caring to yourself and others
  • More focused on what’s truly important and healthy in life. You choose to focus more on what sustains you, not what drains you.

In closing, the importance today with balancing being in our intellect (the thinking state) with being in our hearts (the emotional state), is vital to one’s health and well-being. Being in the thoughts and actions of Appreciation, Gratitude, Acceptance, Compassion and Care; is part of the path toward expanding one’s awareness, living a more authentic life and spreading kindness to the world. Its part of humanities evolution and growth as spiritual beings, having this human experience.  

David Schroeder, LMSW, CPC from Grand Rapids, MI., is a licensed clinical and spiritual social worker, certified life transition coach, and author of Just Be Love: Messages on the Spiritual and Human Journey. His practice, Transition Pathways helps people find healthy pathways to love, greater awareness and higher potential. Visit David’s website: transitionpathways.com David’s book, Just Be Love is available for purchase through the publisher: Global Summit House email: infoglobalsummithouse.com and Amazon.com. If you would like an autograph copy of his book, contact David by email: humor311@sbcglobal.net

The Mystery and Wonder of Infinite Love

The Eye of Infinite Love and intelligence.
Let this be your master and guide.